1. |
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the days drift to months
and i hide in my shadow
taking refuge at once
from something i can't handle
is it a mirror?
a goalpost?
maybe deeper-seated
i should be pickling,
preserving my strength
for when it's needed
cus i gotta be what i wanna see
if it's up to me
and it prolly shouldn't be
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2. |
carbon
02:54
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3. |
do the math
04:27
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answers spill out of my mouth
rehearse, recite
forget the memories
i won't look back
to problem solve just do the math
each puzzle's made
from images complete
then cut out
when the pieces fit
and the picture's blurry
in the negative space
we'll place a familiar rhythm
till my ears are free from sound
and better judgments face
tie this empty weight
with wrought-iron chains
i tried to divide it a million ways
each one leaves fractionate remains
but i never asked you
what you want cut
you can't put back
here's fragments of the life
you thought you'd lead
it all adds up to less than one
it all adds up to less than
it all adds up
it all adds up
it all adds up to nothing
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4. |
may
03:48
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5. |
june
04:09
|
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|
you can cycle me through
and wring me out
then hang me up to dry
i'll play it cool
i've got my doubts
but i could give it a try
you played me for a fool
i called you out
this'll be over by july
but for the rest of june
i'll hold back a shout
and sit in my room in silence
and if you won't wait
there's no need to explain why
some things don't change
does that come as a surprise?
from these cycles grew
an alarming sound
though i don't know why
it's been a while
since i felt inspired
to sit and write
and with each passing day
this hope grows frayed
despite efforts to keep it tied
heard i'll find myself again
but don't know when
so i guess i'll still keep trying
we'll have to wait
and see what comes in due time
so much has changed
and i wish that i'd said goodbye
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6. |
hon
03:18
|
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'this listlessness is dumb'
said with the world out my window
but still i stay inside
listenin' to 'Hon' for the fourth time this week
searching for what truths lie
between the verses
like backmasked curses
hidden answers why i can't comply
with daily function
mental malfunction
in alexithymia i fear demise
(chorus)
summer sun
pinkened skin
who has time to treat it when
sun is setting
in purple skies
smoke is settling, so am i
i know they see in me
countless personal failures
like a sign across my back -
a letter to designate
that my ideals have corroded
in a pot-smoke acid bath -
but they don't demonstrate
'stead say "you're the life of the party"
or "damn that show was whack"
just exsanguine chatter-bait
'non mutatis mutandis'
my mantra will ring out
(chorus 2 - Alex Montenegro of skirts)
what you see
is what you get
nothing more can be let in
empty spaces
beckon lines
i regret wasting this time
some point light years away
Venetian hallways are crowded
with younger selves
and i'm still waiting for today
when i write these words
and sing them in refrain
maybe these frequencies
are burned in my memories
escaping time and place
the echoes left in their wake
ripple out from the surface
what's done has always been
where were you at the start of it all?
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7. |
rhino
02:36
|
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|
almost two years have passed since i was here last and i'm wearing different shoes but i wouldn't call them new
i can't escape this feeling that something's missing
and though the years may be gone i don't feel i've grown
tonight i play at the Rino, acid at Estes tomorrow
next time i come round here i wonder who i'll know
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8. |
when is soon enough?
02:09
|
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9. |
twelfth
03:03
|
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|
starting back up habits i wish i'd forgotten
on my last $20
and it's only the twelfth of the month
let's please not discuss things
i'd rather not talk about people and places we've left in the dust
i could fall in with anyone, but i can't be the only one
here, now
spiraling downwards, inwards, and outwards
please clear out
this ship's just set sail but it's already sinkin'
down on my luck
remembrin' each lustful encounter
i wonder if i took
liberties i shouldn't have
or pushed for things you wouldn't have wanted
like the limb you lost but still feel -
ghostly, tingling, haunted
i could fall in love with anyone, i know i'm not the only one
here, now
spiraling downwards, inwards, and outwards
please clear out
this ship's just set sail but it's already sinking
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10. |
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step out in morning fog
dewdrop dawn, balmy springtime
eyes reflect the fog's reflection
what happens next defies intention:
resume old cycles without mention
or hardly even noticing
begin to breathe, begin to bleed
i don't know what's good for me
bloom masked in blue absentia
played out stories, dated scenes
finding safety in quarantine
seek most to relieve the tension
how will i know i've got to where i want to be????
i shouldn't always try so hard to appear deep (deep deep, deep deep deep)
still learning when to bite my tongue rather than speak
i'm not who i wanted, but not in ways you can see
remove the mask or let it slip
clouds break with steady drip
search for strength to ask for help
resolution over fear,
the path ahead is obscured
but i don't want to run from love forever
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Evan Gordon Dallas, Texas
i eat garbage for the city
Evan Gordon recommends:
music for people
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Shit Don't Rhyme No More [REMASTER]
by E L U C I D
the man who the man say is the man
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aoty 2020
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The Best Friends I Ever Had
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Catchy songs with a lot of different influences. Great style. Love the horns and bass. Great lyrics too. Hard to pick a favorite track.
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An introspective record that fuses post-rock, shoegaze and ambient synth patches into a seamless array of shimmering soundscapes.
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